Of sex tapes, morality, marriage

WHILE, the idea of sex tapes looked alien and immoral, to an extent of having serious repercussions in one’s life, it has worked as a “stepping stone” for two Zimbabwean socialites.

Pokello Nare and actress and radio presenter Tinopona “Tin Tin” Katsande are officially married, despite having shot controversial sex tapes with their former boyfriends.

The two women are claiming victory after “embarrassing” moments in their lives, which saw their sex tapes leaking to the public.

Having shot sex tapes that went viral and almost destroyed their social standing, the two seem to have weathered the storm. They are now riding on their life situations emanating from the sex tapes.

Their stories are a testimony that the African society is slowly shifting from some of its social and moral principles. For a very long time, it was a principle that a woman should preserve her virginity until she gets married.

Some weddings ended after their grooms found out that their brides were not virgins. Now, against this background, making a sex tape would be considered immorality of the highest degree that would have driven off men.

The dream and probability of getting married under the circumstances would have been next to none. This is more so, with what the man’s relatives would say about the new daughter-in-law. There is a general belief that the woman would be of loose morals, mainly because sex is considered sacred and for it to be made public, is considered immoral.

Zimbabwe is a country which is deeply entrenched in the African culture of conservatism and values its tradition. Pokello became a popular figure after she dated musician Desmond “Stunner” Chideme. Their relationship was so popular because of the duo’s controversial characters.

For some, it was like a match made in heaven, while others doubted it would last. Much to its hype, the relationship took a strange leap after the two featured in a sex tape that instantly became the talk of the town. Pokello was given names and considered a loose woman.

People began using societal norms and values to judge her. Pokello’s reputation was soiled, but that was to create more opportunities for her and her subsequent marriage to Ghanaian lover Elikem Kumordzie.

The controversial sex tape increased Pokello’s sphere of influence and opened doors for her, which saw her entering the Big Brother Africa show, Season 8.

During the show, she met the love of her life, who later became her husband. The sex tape did not stop Elikem from finding Pokello as the suitable woman for him. People’s comments did not deter him from making the best out of the relationship.
Pokello went on to dump her Zimbabwean boyfriend Stunner live on television, and replaced him with the Ghanaian national.
While, several people thought the relationship would not last based on Pokello’s past, mainly centred on the sex tape, Elikem did not see that as a hindering factor.

He nevertheless parted away with several thousands of dollars and married Pokello. While the duo’s tale lends some features to Tinopona’s story, the narrative was not all rosy at first for the radio DJ.

Tinopona’s sex tape leaked and resulted in her losing her job as a radio presenter at ZiFM. This was the end of a chapter in her life.

However, after such a well-documented past, Tin Tin managed to pick up the pieces, defied odds and moved on with her life.
She recently broke the silence, posted pictures on Facebook, declaring that she was married. When all these aspects are to be put into perspective, they show that the African culture is slowly transforming to accept some issues that are considered morally wrong.

Cultural values pertaining to marriage that were valued back then have slowly transformed, in a way more likely similar to that of Western societies. In America, popular television personality Kim Kardashian and former boyfriend Ray J once shot a sex tape.
However, she later went on to get married to rapper Kanye West. The two are living a happy life, while the issue of the sex tape has become water under the bridge.

Maybe one has to shoot a sex tape to get married. Food for thought.

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